Return From Death and Killer Cloth
by VampireApple
Summary: "Sirius, you are going to be killed by a piece of cloth," James Potter said in a ghostly voice. No pairs. Complete.


**A/N:** Okay, this is most likely my favorite HP fanfic I've ever wrote. Thanks for taking a look at it! I wrote because I was bored and annoyed in some random class.

This was beta'd by and _dedicated to my best friend and fellow author, Selene 147. She is awesome and has written great fanfics, please go read some. She can be found on my favs author list. :)_

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, Snape, Peter and Voldy would be dead and Sirius, James and Lily wouldn't have died.

**August 1995**

"Sirius, you are going to be killed by a piece of cloth," James Potter said, standing over his friends' bed one night.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzz," was all that was heard in reply. Sirius Black really didn't even seem to care that his dead best friend had returned to warn him of his death. But, after all, he _was_ asleep.

"Oi! Padfoot! I didn't come all the way down from heaven -- a very nice place by the way -- just to watch you sleep!" James yelled. Sirius slept on. Getting annoyed, James went to punch him, but his fist went straight through Sirius' arm. Luckily for James, though, Sirius chose that moment to wake up.

"Aughh! Demon Llama!" Sirius yelled, sitting up in bed. Then he looked around and saw James. Louder, he yelled, "AUGHH! JAMES!" Before falling out of bed.

"Nice to see you too," James replied sarcastically.

"Are you a ghost or something?" Sirius asked, getting to his feet. (A/N: Hey, give the guy

a break, he's seeing the ghost of his long dead best friend. And he just woke up. He's allowed to ask stupid questions!)

"No. I'm a flying hippo." James rolls his eyes.

"Really?"

"...You're joking, right?"

There is a short pause, in which Sirius seems to be thinking it over, then he looks up quickly, realizing what his half-asleep mind had said. "Yes! Yes, I am. I was joking. So... why are you here?"

"That's it? After not seeing me for all these years, no 'Hi James! I've missed you so much!' or 'How's Lily?' or 'What's Heaven like?' All you say is 'Why are you here?' You're being really rude you know. " said James, crossing his arms and looking offended.

"You haven't changed a bit, you know that?" said Sirius, sitting down on his bed.

"Whatever. To answer your earlier question, I came here to tell you how you die."

"Ooo, really? How do I die? In a great battle?" Sirius asked excitedly.

"Er... kinda. It's more of a..." he searched for the right way to say it. "A 'Death by

Tapestry' sort of thing.

"What the heck does that mean?"

"You get killed by a piece of cloth."

"What? What kinda idiotic death is that? How stupid could that possibly be?" Sirius yelled. He started to rant and rave, but I'll spare you it, because he basically repeats the same thing over and over again.

"Yes, I agree, very stupid of the fates that decided your death, wasn't it? I only came here to say that though, but I have to go now. Bye, it was good seeing you." James said, and then disappeared. Sirius didn't even notice he left (he was still ranting and raving.) 'till Harry came in asking what all the noise was about.

**June 1996**

"Ouch," Sirius said, standing up and rubbing his rear. The first thing he noticed about the

place he was in was that there was a lot of green. A _lot_ of green. Everything he saw was green! Grass, trees, a lake, even the _clouds_ were green. "Where am I?"

"In Heaven, Sirius. Welcome home."

Sirius turned around to see Lily and James Potter, smiling at him. The two people that were so much like family to him. Two people he missed very much, and was so happy to see again.

He smiled back. "It's good to be home."

_Now a note from said beta:_

_**Selene 147:** This fanfic was created due to the annoyance caused by J.K. Rowlings version of Sirius' death. Sirius is so wonderful, and Jo gives him a stupid death. I wanted to think that Sirius and James would think it stupid as well, so boom, this fic has been written. Also, Sirius should be very happy in heaven with Lily and James, Please send lots and lots of reviews!_


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